Say It Ain't So Joe...er..ah..I Mean Mr. Woods

When this whole Tiger banging story broke I was absolutely certain that Tiger was being had by some money grubbing bimbo who got bumped from the State Dinner guest list by Tareq Salahi and just wanted her 15 minutes of fame.

But then she went and hired Gloria Allred. Uh oh. Gloria does not mess around. I can't stand her but if I ever get in a jam I'm going to make sure it's something that will generate a lot of publicity cause then I can get Gloria for free. Remember OctoMom? Last story about her was they were going to lock her up for child endangerment. Not a chance of that with Gloria riding legal shotgun.

But back to Tiger. Here is this guy with an amazing talent, an otherworldly ability to focus, every moment of his life seemingly planned down to the second and we are supposed to believe he's messing around with a hostess at a club...and a waitress in a Vegas bar...and a porn star...and, well the list goes on.

At last count I think there were 13 bimbos claiming to have banged the Woodster.

And you know what? I believe most of them. I didn't at first but I do now. I don't know if that's just the power of the media or if I came to that decision rationally. But let's assume for a moment that it's true.

Wilt Chamberlain wrote a book and talked about bedding literally 100s of women during his phenomenal career in basketball. The sport didn't suffer. Magic Johnson messed around until he came down with that nasty case of AIDS. And of course Kobe did the maid in Colorado. Nobody remembers any of that.

But hey, they're all basketball players so it doesn't count.

What happens when Woods drops out of golf for a year? Will viewership go down? Will purses dwindle? Will the First Tee add some new ideas on moral conduct? Will Lefty win some tournaments? Will Sergio start dating waitresses?

As much as I admire the guy's golf accomplishments, his major screw up and his display of absolutely horrible taste in women, are going to hurt the game short term. You can't compare him to Nicholas and Palmer in any way other than statistics. Where before all three were patron saints for the game, now we're back to two and they aren't exactly contemporary.

I don't know if I can take anymore jock shocks. I mean if mister clean is banging bimbos, the next thing you know is Barry Bonds will start taking steroids!

Oh Shoeless Joe. If only these modern athletes would just cheat on the game and leave it at that.